I will not personify my vision until I come to the place of absolute acceptance of self.
Where I neither repress my gifts due to shame… nor impede them with overcompensating strife due to frustration of said repression.
But to come to such a place I must come to the end of my self fully.
I have to just stumble around like an utter imbecile until I find the faith that allows me to fully relax in His Grace.
Knowing that nothing can truly hurt me;
And that I need no one or thing.
It is only in my pursuit - of illusions of need - that I suffer.
I do not need to be understood.
I do not need to understand.
I do not need to lead.
I do not need to be led.
I do not need to be loved or accepted by anyone.
I need only accept His Love…
I need only get over my self with the simple unconditional posture of “thank you Lord.”
Such a posture gives me the power to love and accept and reject everything as He does and with an absolute calm and humility.
I did not chose my alleged perceptions or powers.
Repression and striving are both vanity of self.
I cannot escape being a fool.
I need only be tranquil in my foolishness.
When I do that I will see all folly of all people and all existence as mere reflection of my own fallen nature.
When I do this I will cease to be impeded by any sense of self-righteousness.
I will be free to personify my purpose; and thus I will feel fulfillment.